In the event that President Cyril Ramaphosa appoints me as a hard replacement for André de Ruyter, I am willing – and for the country – to be acceded to the president’s command.
Before taking such a big step, the president must have known that I knew about coal. As a hedgehog, it’s my job to clean the chimney of a high-end Aga stove.
Also read: ‘Eskom needs a fixer’: Mantashe denies accusing De Ruyter of trying to topple the government
This entailed detaching various parts, other than the chimney itself, where soot has formed crusts. It took more than two hours of scraping and shaking to remove the inhibiting black dross.
Interestingly, the heat of the coal spreads more to the plate and oven due to the cleaning exercise.
Incidentally, in school we are taught that lignite coal is used in power plants because of its low heat value and high moisture content.
Also on the CV is an experience I had many years ago at Arnold Colliery near Oogies.
As the editor of a technical journal, I was given a tour of a giant mining operation that involved driving a massive front-end loader scooping coal and then dumping it into coco pans.
Full marks from the foreman who let me keep the hard hat as a memento.
How many places can Eskom compete with today’s basic knowledge of coal and its role in power generation?
It’s a safe bet they can’t because if they can, they’ve gone through the workers, making sure they meet the basic requirements.
We are constantly being told about dirty or wet coal, damaged turbines and related equipment.
When did the brass last rub shoulders with the staff at the coalface?
WATCH: Troop deployment to Eskom plant raises questions about sabotage
I bet, zilch, thus allowing crime syndicates, through bent workers, to neglect important maintenance. I have defined certain working conditions.
The Gwedes should have left me for a year without sticking their inexperienced noses into my affairs.
And secondly, I was given the budget to employ the best team of detectives to “interview” every worker on an ongoing basis.
Scare the hell out of the guilty to sing like dickybirds or dead buggers. This training and the presence of a strong army will become the norm.
Innocent workers will receive a cleanup, instead they will be my ears and eyes. Need to find a hard hat.