The thought of a child taking their own life is so terrifying to parents that many push the thought away rather than face the possibility.
However, during the difficult teenage years, it is very important to talk openly about suicide and highlight the conversations that can save lives.
Pressure
Mark de la Rey, clinical psychologist at Netcare Akeso Kenilworth, says that in a world of extreme academic pressure, online bullying and social challenges, teenagers will be better equipped to navigate this difficult topic if they have the opportunity to talk about it. front.
“Parents may be concerned about the best way to approach this topic. This should be done at an age-appropriate level but it is also important to remember that children have access to and are exposed to information and misinformation about subjects like suicide.
Treating it as a taboo would be dangerous,” he said. “What you can do as a parent is to help uncover why someone commits suicide and how the tragedy is not the only option.
TED talk
A good icebreaker might suggest watching a TED talk about suicide together and letting everyone discuss their views.
Suicidal ideation sprouts from some level of depression or mood disorders and death – whether attempted or successful – shows a genuine sense of hopelessness, De la Rey points out.
“There are not always clear signs, especially in high-functioning teenagers who are good at sports, with academic achievements and are popular in their peer group.
It makes it easier to cover up your true mental state, which you can do to achieve what you want,” he said.
There are certain instances in which teens can get so caught up that they can’t step back and gain perspective without help, De la Rey notes.
“These include scenarios that are almost unavoidable, such as exam pressure and relationship problems. “Others may be less visible such as online bullying or blackmail for compromising photos that can be shared.
NOW READ: Three students from the same high school took their own lives last week
Digital environment
The digital environment can seriously threaten children’s mental health and is an area that requires a lot of discussion. “Any significant change in behavior can be a warning sign.
If you have a normally active and social child who has become withdrawn, or a child who has always been a homebody but now seems to be looking for reasons to stay away, be on the lookout.
Sudden anger and frustration and changes in daily habits can also cause emotional difficulties.
Sometimes people with suicidal thoughts will do things and say things that may indicate plans to end their lives. This may come out in language, for example, saying, “You don’t have to deal with me any longer” or maybe “Maybe we’ll meet again one day” to a close friend.
These statements are pleas for help that should be taken seriously. According to De la Rey, parents often have the feeling that something is not working and at this time it is important to sit together and talk.
Also read: How to recognize and deal with teen suicide
Support
“Your child must know that he can come to you with a problem, even if it seems terrible. This means being measured in your response, which is not easy when dealing with teenagers,” said De la Ray.
“If you tell your child that they can come to you with a problem and then immediately get angry or disappointed when they do, this can push them away and create distrust.
They need to feel that they can be honest and trust you. “Ultimately you want your child to feel like they can talk to you when they’re facing an intractable problem and to let them know that help is always available.
Open conversation is an opportunity to reinforce that message. “If you know or suspect that your child is having suicidal thoughts, seek professional help.
There were always other options and even if he couldn’t see them now, there was a way through.
READ MORE: Teen Suicide Prevention Week: Raising awareness to save lives
– news@citizen.co.za