Almost a week after Sarah Herron and fiance Dylan Brown‘s new son died at 24 weeks, the Scholar alum is still settling with the change.
“Postpartum after pregnancy is still postpartum. I haven’t got a chapter on perinatal care, or lactation support,” Herron, 36, wrote via Instagram on Saturday, February 4, adding a “trigger warning” to her post. “I jumped from the second trimester to the fourth trimester overnight. I don’t know if my milk will come in. Or I need a bathroom full of grown-up diapers, witch hazel and ice packs at 24 weeks pregnant.
She continued: “Suddenly the days spent sampling my belly oil and rubbing my bump were turned into a crash course in postpartum relief with tears in my eyes. I didn’t want relief, I wanted my baby.
Sarah Herron
From Sarah Herron/InstagramAt Bachelor in Paradise alum – who wore adult diapers postpartum in her selfie – revealed on February 1, that the couple’s son had died prematurely.
“There are no words for the extent of the loss and pain we are experiencing. It is beautiful and at the same time tragic. He has his father’s nose and mouth and long fingers,” wrote Herron in an Instagram tribute at the time. “Oliver, our IVF miracle, went against many odds and fought many difficult milestones here, but a higher power still had other plans for the three of us. Our time together was short, but we are grateful for the days which we experienced with Oliver in my stomach.
Art director, which is exclusively confirmed for Us Weekly in September 2022, the engaged couple is expecting their first child, since it was difficult to return from the hospital without their son in their arms.
“Since coming home without Oliver, everything has been a reminder of what I had to do, and what I have to do now without him here,” she wrote on Saturday. “There is no way to prepare yourself for the discomfort during pregnancy that can suddenly, without warning, disappear. Like suddenly being able to zip a winter jacket, or reach down to tie your shoes again. … And worst of all, take your new shadow daily and no longer see lumps.
She added: “Things that were off-limits during pregnancy are suddenly allowed again and feel guilty. Even thinking about a turkey sandwich or a glass of wine (things I enjoyed during pregnancy) feels like I’m leaving my baby behind. And the things I loved during pregnancy; like berries (lots of berries!) tasted like cheating.I never prepared this, and no mom should.
Herron – who is engaged to Brown in May 2021 – called her miscarriage “the second saddest thing I’ve ever been through” with her loved ones and social media followers before offering a simple plea for others in the same situation.
“My wish is that if you have a friend who lets you lose, show up in the bathroom with a pad, a diaper, and an ice pack so they don’t have to figure it out on their own,” the Colorado native said. “Fill the fridge with broths, casseroles and a selection of drinks so they don’t have to think about the mundane but painful decisions in front of them.”