This week in The Real Housewives of New Jersey that title Housewarming History Lesson. Who will go to school on Family Science Family Gorga? Sharpen your pencils and let’s get to work, shall we?
They finally called it a night at 1:32am after some male bonding drinking rituals. Joe B. is the trash that just made it to bed and quickly fell asleep before he had to see Marge naked. John drank 17 shots and admitted that he drank the most. Nate thought these people had nothing because it was like any other night and it was a very early start.
Teresa and Louie having a love bubble housewarming party. She only wants positive energy for her party since she has been sucked into Louie’s love bubble. Louie tells Teresa that Joe told him to f*ck himself several times the night before. He lets Teresa know that Joe is annoyed that Melissa’s family wasn’t invited to the party. Teresa claims that Gorga didn’t invite Louie’s family to Antonia’s birthday, and he should have. He really nailed it with this one. Teresa said that Louie’s family was very good to her. She had no idea that this was all part of Louie’s plan for the family to welcome her into the greasy fold and pull her away from herself.
Melissa arrived at Joe’s work site where he just slapped on his itty bitty toolbelt to see the work in progress on the new home. He actually came to find out how the man’s night was. Joe mentions that Louie isn’t doing well because Louie made the podcast. Melissa mentioned that they helped Joe Giudice to put food on the table because there was no one to film with. She really needs to get rid of that red lipstick interview look that makes her look trashy and unclassy. Side Note: Allegations that Joe hasn’t paid his bills have risen again with the construction of a new home.
Teresa calls Joe to check with him. He repeats what Louie put on the notepad to make peace. Teresa wanted to know if he was coming to the wedding and he refused. He tells her he loves her, and she says it back. Teresa was surprised that Joe spoke to her again.
Dolores has Valerie’s mother come over and we get to see sweet Frankie Jr. Valerie admits she had cake for breakfast so it wouldn’t look like she was making a healthy choice after a health scare. She likes Paul, but wonders how he navigates his dysfunctional family. Frankie Jr. asks Dolores how Paul and Frank coexist. Paul does not want the relationship that Frank has with David or send him. Dolores was willing to consider Frank’s feelings in the past even though she was his wife, but those days were over. Side note: My theory about Frank and Paul is this: Frank likes the guy with Dolores and doesn’t make her look bad because he’s her husband. David is no threat to him because he is emotionless.
Jennifer and Bill are having dinner and they are discussing their relationship. Bill thinks he has ruined his children. Jennifer (whose hooked nose has been distracting me in this camera angle) thinks since Bill lied he has upset the family dynamic. Jennifer thinks Bill can make extravagant purchases for himself but if he does it’s devastating. He’s tired of being the scapegoat and wants Bill to stop trying to defuse the situation. Jennifer didn’t want his input because she didn’t agree with him. Bill looks like Jennifer is on her last nerve and is planning an exit strategy. They should be able to buy expensive cars especially because they are good providers and suppliers.
Rachel it was meeting Jennifer F. for lunch and they really vibrated with each other. He shared that Jennifer was commiserating with him over his bad nose job though he thought that was rather presumptuous of her. Rachel’s nose was very similar to “Cindy-Lou Who” but she couldn’t believe Jennifer would make that assumption. Jennifer seems to have a mission to destroy this season and also has sh*t talking to Dolores. He then called Jen F. and wanted a referral for therapy. Jennifer then pivoted and continued on her warpath and started trashing Margaret on this phone. They both think that Jennifer is very manipulative and attribute their jealousy to what they think is an illness. So, all these players are sick!
Margaret and Dolores shopping for Teresa’s house party. He can’t believe he’s back home again after everything he’s been through. Dolores wonders if Melissa and Joe will be going and decides to call Melissa to see if she’s going to the party. Melissa is going but Joe is not interested in attending.
Joe calls Melissa and tells her that he definitely won’t go because he knows that Teresa really doesn’t want him there. They don’t want to fake it as they have for countless seasons. Teresa is disappointed that Joe didn’t come. He talks to Milania and Gia about the problem at hand. Melissa wants to go alone which I applaud her because you know that this is a close situation to walk into and it is not because of too much hair spray and gel.
We have come to the housewarming party of love bubble which will be all the cast except Joe Gorga and Frank. A woman twirls around in a plastic love bubble floating in a pond called Teresa the dancer. Teresa found out that dancing like her was embarrassing on DWTS. Margaret mentions how Jennifer talks trash and considers her a professional victimizer.
Louie pulls Tre up on the table who screeches since he has no underwear on. Can she cover the thing with a hairnet since she’s near the food table? Teresa calls this group her “chosen family” and you know this comment will be repeated all season. Melissa went to the bathroom because she was crying after Teresa’s comment. All of a sudden the sprinklers are turned on (According to Melissa? that would be a good b*tch move) and this group has to run for cover since we have some evil witches in this group that can really unite.
Melissa comes back out and tells Jackie that she sold her to Danielle about wearing hamper clothes. Danielle come up Jackie so he checked her clothes to see if they came out of the dirty hamper. He then put his hand on Jackie’s face with the reason that how he talks. Jackie jumps to the ridiculous conclusion that Danielle is threatening her because she’s talking with her hands.
Teresa mentions that the kids haven’t seen Joe Gorga in 6 months. Danielle sees similarities between the families because her sister doesn’t talk to her family. Melissa talks to Gia and Gabriella and they both miss their siblings. He knows the girls hate him especially but it is painful for him to be involved with him knowing his true feelings.
Jennifer will then be called out by Marge to call Jennifer F. to complain about her. He claimed to have only made that call since he signed up desperate need a marriage counselor. Dolores then approaches and realizes that Jennifer was also chatting with her at the cheese party. Jennifer admits to calling Rachel since she quit her bad nose job. He wanted her to know he would be there for her since everyone badmouthed her ugly nose job.
Rachel and Jennifer get into it which causes Jennifer to call Rachel stupid. He grabbed his wife John to get out of this bad party, but he wanted to give this b*tch a chance to check. Jennifer thinks that people of Rachel’s generation can’t be smart. He acts all smug that he can to chase off the newbie. Rachel just wants to find an emergency exit to escape this deranged housewife who has become unhinged this season.
Next week, Margaret and Jennifer burn out and we see more of the fallout from the Gorga feud. Happy Hump Day Blurbers and see you tomorrow in Miami!
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