This week in The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the episode is titled “Driving Miss Crazy.” Marge and Jennifer are in each other’s jugular, and the new girls are wondering, what the heck are we signing up for? Buckle up and let’s go for a crazy ride, shall we?
Danielle planning a Barbie themed birthday party for her precocious daughter Valentina. He worries that he has Jennifer and Rachel in the same event. Danielle is such a bad actress because everyone knows she’s going down at the party in the Housewives world. In this franchise, it even goes down in the christenings for God’s sake!
Rachel invited her parents and grandmother to come. They have two cute little kids. Rachel tells her that her grandmother is a pistol. She demanded sh*t from him for not picking up the phone and insisting on doing something. Rachel mentions that she wants to have another child, but John reminds her that she already has a child for three months. Jaiden, Rachel’s stepson, lives full-time with her, and she doesn’t want another sibling. She looks forward to the day when she doesn’t have a stroller wheel in her face. Rachel shared with her family how Jennifer pinched her nose, and I didn’t hear anyone argue…
Melissa took Antonia out for driving lessons – UGH, the worst, I became gray overnight during the process of teaching my daughter to drive. He points out that Antonia is better and happier after the move. Melissa tells Antonia to keep her relationship with her siblings separate from her parents’ drama and to always respect her aunt. It’s a very interesting juxtaposition between Teresa and Melissa talking to their “dorters”.
Teresa it was five weeks away from her wedding audition for season three of Dirty John. She tries on wedding dresses with Gia and Milania. Tre looks extra crispy in this scene, and I hope the stylist can dust the chest of fried skin cells from the dress. He credits Louie for how well the girls are doing, and how insulting is it to give him credit? They discuss Joe not walking Tre down the aisle, and the idea that he will not attend the troublesome wedding for the girls.
Gia made an interesting comment when asked about Joe and Melissa’s uncle at ITM. She claims she used to see him all the time down on land before Louie was in the picture. Side note: Gia wants to go to law school, and she really has to because Teresa is walking another dangerous path to Camp Fed marrying Louie. He should be able to keep his mother away from the show American Greed.
Jennifer met Melissa for lunch, and I want a watermelon martini! He talks about Bill not helping the kids. Jennifer no longer fights with Bill over infidelity. He thought Margaret have a dysfunctional pattern with friends, and the production shows how they stick like flies. Jennifer mentions how Margaret encouraged Melissa to date the ballplayer. He says to be careful with Marge because she is dangerous.
Jane F. throwing a Southern-themed party, and he hopes there will be no bloodshed. Marge arrives with her floppy Miss Daisy hat, and she The other housewives take Ozempic, or body parts melt off like a face? Melissa tells Marge that Jennifer stated that she was trying to get Melissa to leave Joe. Dolores came with her girls flopping around, and I had high hopes since she was a new person who could give her some advice on what not to wear. Melissa shared that Danielle had a problem with her sister about her super-extra Instagram post. Rachel was surprised that something so trivial had left the brothers speechless. He’s right – there’s more to this story…
Jackie, who still hadn’t brushed her hair, came over and didn’t want to sit near Danielle. Teresa joined the group and sat next to Ayam Goreng as they both had an extra crispy look. Jennifer came in a short denim dress, which did not please her, and the other women had invited her. When asked about his arrogance, he said he wasn’t boasting – he was stating the facts. Margaret confronts Jennifer about her comments about being a bad friend. He said that his only friend was Teresa the furry dolt with Chewie in his ancestors. Rachel was stunned by these two grown women screaming at each other.
Jennifer slammed Marge with, “I have a family, which you don’t know what it’s like.” He yells that Marge is jealous of his family. Marge slings in Jennifer there is nothing happy in her marriage and there’s nothing to envy but Bill’s salary. Jen F. stepped in as a referee for these two, and she let people know that she had next door neighbors. He makes a point to mention that he doesn’t live where Teresa is. Teresa, who likes to brag, mentions that she has six acres for him and Louie to graze on.
Jennifer calls Marge a stupid old lady, and it’s like a curse in the Housewives world to suggest that anyone is old. Marge hurls at Jennifer that she is nothing but a disheveled little druggie. Stupid Jennifer doesn’t realize that marijuana is a drug, and you can see why she and Tre are aligned – Dumb and Dumber, Jersey Except. Dolores wants happier days in Paterson when you just slug it out and deal with it. Jen F. asks Jennifer to leave because this is out of control. Teresa leaves with an angry little henchman.
Now we come to Valentina’s Barbie themed party. Danielle looks more like a Barbie than a girl hired to play Barbie. He and Rachel were talking about Jen’s dysfunctional lunch. Jennifer came with Olivia, and the child is more interested in camera time than his mother, which says a lot! Olivia mentioned that she wanted to be a therapist when she grew up, and that she needed one after being raised by Jennifer. Rachel asks Jennifer how she’s doing after her fight with Marge. He didn’t follow Jennifer’s rationalization for her bad behavior.
Valentina gets a big entrance and runs into the room with her mother screaming in excitement. Tre and Louie discuss Marge calling Jennifer a disheveled drug addict. It is then mentioned that Marge encouraged Melissa to leave her chauvinistic husband because she could do better. Teresa admits she was just making nice with Marge since Louie to him you have to keep the enemy close. Marge is credited as a master manipulator, which isn’t hard to do with these dolts.
Jennifer chats with Teresa, and Louie and is not threatened by Marge, aka Kojak with a wig. Rachel and Danielle join the conversation, and Tre tells them to do their homework on Marge. Tre also told them to pay attention?!? Well, the last time the comments that were thrown out of the table were restored!
Next week, Dolores has a charity event, and Frank is still trying to keep Dolores close to him. Teresa meets with a therapist, who advises her to let go of her relationship with her sister. Happy Hump Day, Blurbers, and see you tomorrow in Miami for part one of the reunion.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS EPISODE? DATA IN THE COMMENTS!