Jessa Duggar has opened up about something personal and painful.
In a nearly 19-minute YouTube video (titled “Heartbreak Over the Holidays”) posted late Friday, the former reality star revealed that she had a miscarriage a few weeks ago, detailing the tragic journey of her latest pregnancy to friends and followers.
Thinking back to when she found out she had lost her child, Duggar explained in the clip that the ultrasound technician spoke:
“‘The bag looks good. The baby doesn’t.'”
“Nothing could have prepared me for the weight of those words at that moment,” she said, recalling that she “broke down immediately.”
The technician left the room as she and her husband Ben Seewald began “trying to process the loss [while] sitting there holding hands and crying.”
He continued:
“We just sat there holding hands and crying, like, ‘What do we do from here.’
“I feel like some miscarriages can be jarring because you don’t have any obvious signs that something is wrong. I had minimal spotting for 24 hours, and that was it.
Jessa and Ben are parents to sons Spurgeon, 7, and Henry, 6; and daughters Ivy, 3, and Fern, 18 months.
She never announced her fifth pregnancy, but fans started asking about her status in January.
Due to the risk of complications, Duggar said in the video that she decided to go to the hospital to have a dilation and curettage procedure to remove the baby from her womb.
Just spoil it.
Jessa became very emotional on camera as she recalled the moments before the procedure, saying:
“I was able to thank God at that moment for giving me this life, even though we couldn’t hold this baby in our arms.”
Still, despite the incredible perspective, the 30-year-old said next this procedure ended he faced the most challenging time of the whole process.
“It was 10 to 15 minutes before I was brought back to the room where Ben and my mom were waiting, probably the hardest thing in my life, just feeling alone,” she said, as her voice broke on camera.
The TLC alum concluded the video by holding on to her faith and holding out hope that she will be reunited with her child.
“When you lose someone you love, it makes heaven sweeter. we talk about it with the kids.
“We can’t wait to meet this little boy in heaven one day.”
He also said he plans to “take a break” from social media and focus on his recovery.
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