Jamie Fiore Higgins account of her life on Wall Street

Jamie Fiore Higgins did not leave the job Goldman Sachs planning to reveal the most personal, demeaning and, at times, outright scary moments of her 18 years in the investment bank.

But after stepping down in 2016, after being promoted to managing director – the second-highest role behind partner – conversations with people from outside the world made him realize how amazing things can be.

And in the book “Bully Market: My Story of Money and Misogyny at Goldman Sachs,” published last summer, he tells his story.

Some of the anecdotes, from the early days of the late 1990s, but also later, are sexist comments and inappropriate actions described as “white noise from Wall Street.” He said a colleague made a spreadsheet ranking the body parts of female recruits. He recalled that he was only promoted “because [her] vagina,” and some young male colleagues made it clear that they would not respect his authority.

He also says that he witnessed sex and drugs in the office, and social work held in strip clubs (he notes at the beginning of the book that some of the people shown there, who are all given pseudonyms, are a composite of the various people he recognize and the time of some events has been compressed).

A Goldman Sachs spokeswoman said the company “disagrees” with the characterization of the culture described in the book, and what it called “anonymous allegations.”

“If Ms. Higgins raises these allegations with the Human Resources department at that time we will investigate them fully and take them seriously,” a spokesperson told CNBC. CNBC was unable to independently verify the accounts made in the book.

Fiore Higgins also said that, although the company offered a room for breastfeeding, she was once told that using it would hold back her career. And when she used it after having children, her friends made “mooing” noises at her, made violent gestures, and left stuffed cows on her desk.

In another story, he told of removing a colleague (who had a relationship with a client) from his account. She said he responded by pinning her against the wall and yelling in her face, spraying her with spit as she threatened him.

“I get hundreds and hundreds of messages from people, even though it’s been six months now, every day I get one or two thank yous for telling this story, there’s so much you’ve been through that resonates with me,” she told CNBC.

Fiore Higgins also looked forward to the fact that she was there for many years, in a senior role held by fewer women than men, writing that she “received and continued harassment and abuse” and was “complicit in a broken system . . .

“During those 18 years, I cared more about Goldman Sachs than my wife, my children, my parents,” she told CNBC.

It holds up for a long time despite being pushed close to the breaking point multiple times due to various factors, he said. Contribute to the finances of her working-class family, and make up her immigrant parents, who have faced their own struggles and put pressure on her to succeed.

In the book, when she first tells him about her six-figure salary in her New Jersey living room, her grandmother puts down her knitting needle in shock. In a few years Fiore Higgins in a million-dollar salary (although this, he said, is only one dollar more than the person working below him earned at the time).

Above that is the dangling carrot of a mammoth bonus, common in the financial industry.

Then there is the fear of recrimination; the normalization in the office of things that would horrify outsiders; and his addiction to prestige as “Jamie of Goldman.”

“What I do know is that Goldman is so good at making you feel like there’s nothing without him, nothing to his name, no money,” he said.

A big part of what finally pushed him to leave, using his carefully compiled “freedom spreadsheet,” was when he claimed he was reporting incidents. He reported to HR a friend who had witnessed the bartender racially and homophobically abuse him.

“Months later my review tank,” he told CNBC. “I knew they were going to pay me for not talking, against the family.”

A Goldman Sachs spokesperson told CNBC that it has a zero-tolerance policy for discrimination and charges against employees for reporting incidents, and that HR reports are thoroughly investigated.

Fiore Higgins’ account describes one person’s experience during a defined period of time. But he noted others had said; it’s the only thing that remains rare, and “taboo,” in his words, to go into such detail.

Last November, it was reported that Goldman Sachs had paid more than $12 million to a former female partner to settle a lawsuit by a senior executive who created a hostile environment for women. Goldman’s top lawyer Kathy Ruemmler said in a statement to CNBC at the time that he strongly contradicted the original Bloomberg article.

The bank is also involved in a long-running class action lawsuit with about 1,800 plaintiffs who say the bank pays women less than men and that performance reviews are withheld. It is due to go to trial in June. Goldman has denied wrongdoing.

Amidst the #MeToo movement, the force and the wider public efforts of some senior managers, companies around the world have made efforts, at least on paper, to promote diversity.

In the view of Fiore Higgins, it has been good in some areas, and there is a genuine desire among the C-suite to prevent systemic and reckless discrimination. But institutions like Goldman can still apply their analytical power and metric-setting skills to boost the number of women who make it to the partner level, she said, and create the kind of inclusive environment studies have shown to boost firms.

He also understands the importance of getting a message across to some readers, including finding a trusted advisor who has been removed from the company.

“I’ve had the opportunity to talk at several universities. I’ve talked to people who are like, ‘I got a job offer, I read your book, I’m afraid to go’,” he said.

“It’s like, no, that’s not the answer. When I first started working at Goldman … marketing was Minds Wide Open. I was lapping up – and it was just distance marketing. That’s not what I saw in my life experience.”

“That’s why I’m talking to these students that I’m talking to, men and women, you want to go in with your eyes shining, you want to be very clear about what you can do. to respond and react when it happens.”