Unless you’ve been living under a rock in a cave on Mars for the last eight years (which sounds like a good alternative to living in the United States, tbh) then you probably know that no one knows how to ask for it. the whole internet is all riled up quite like Donald John Trump.
The inimitable 45 created this talent in a new and exciting way over the weekend when he publicly predicted that he would be arrested on Tuesday.
“That’s far away [and] far the leading Republican candidate [and] the former president of the United States will be arrested on Tuesday next week,” wrote the former prez and current drama queen on the Truth Social platform.
Trump attributed his knowledge of the plan to an “illegal leak” from the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office.
He concluded by encouraging his followers to take action, writing:
“Protest, take our nation back!”
Well, as you may have noticed, Tuesday has come and gone, and as far as we know, Donald is still a free man, imprisoned only by his own crippling addiction to Big Macs.
So what gives?
Well, for starters, it’s worth noting that the initial source on all of this is Trump himself.
So now it’s like everyone in the media is playing phone with a drunk kid and just repeating the crap they say in his ear.
That said, there is reason to believe that the Manhattan DA is seeking to indict Trump over money he allegedly paid adult film star Stormy Daniels in 2016.
And there are great opportunities apprentice the host will soon be brought up in costs.
“There is no news, other than illegal leaks from the Department of Justice and the DA’s office, to … fake news operators, that … Democratic prosecutors in Manhattan have decided to take the Witch-Hunt to the next level,” rep. for Trump told Axios on Monday.
“President Trump is rightfully highlighting the injustice and weapons of our system of injustice. He will be in Texas next weekend for a rally.
Well, some things never change, and the giant rally remains Trump’s answer to everything.
He is a full-blown rally-coholic.
Anyway, Trump wasn’t arrested today, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.
Insiders said the grand jury ruling the case had more witnesses to hear on Monday, and the delay could be due to the testimony being held until Tuesday.
If the grand jury decides to indict, we probably won’t see Trump handcuffed as he leads the perp mate, as the attorney will almost certainly arrange the time and place for the Florida resident to surrender.
The indictment may have been made at a distance, which was admittedly less exciting, but perhaps for the best.
After all, no US president has ever been arrested, so this should be handled with caution.
Plus, all the worst MAGA chuds will get a huge kick out of seeing Trump hauled off to jail.
By the end of the day, at least 400 Jacksonville residents named Darryl will have a back tattoo of Trump wearing a crown of thorns and dragging a giant cross while being booed by the NYPD.
It may be a time of uncertainty, but it’s a development you can live with.