Sarah Herron be realistic about postpartum changes after losing a child.
As previously reported, Scholar alum and his fiancee Dylan Brown announced the heartbreaking news a few days ago that his son, Oliver Brown, died on January 28, shortly after she gave birth at 24 weeks of pregnancy. Sarah wrote in the post Instagram Wednesday:
“He died in his father’s arms shortly. There are no words for the magnitude of the loss and pain we experienced. It was beautiful and tragic at the same time. He had his father’s nose and mouth and long fingers.
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After returning home from the hospital, the 36-year-old reality star shared an update with her followers about how difficult it was for her to deal with postpartum symptoms following the death of her son. Along with a picture of her wearing an adult diaper, she wrote on Instagram Saturday:
“Postpartum after pregnancy is still postpartum. I haven’t gotten to the chapter on perinatal care, or lactation support. I jumped from the second trimester to the fourth trimester overnight.”
Sarah then explained all the things she didn’t know were going to happen, including that “her milk would come in” or she would have to learn to pump:
“But suddenly my days of sampling belly oil and rubbing my bump were turned into a crash course in postpartum relief with tears in my eyes. I didn’t want relief, I wanted my baby.
Just soul crushing. At Bachelor in Paradise his personality says everything “has been a reminder of what should have been” and what he had to face without him here, explaining:
“There is no way to prepare yourself for the discomfort during pregnancy that can suddenly, without warning, disappear. Like suddenly being able to zip up a winter jacket, or reaching down to tie your shoes again. Or the way the elastic band on your sweats suddenly fits around your waist – no bottom. Or the way you accidentally roll onto your stomach in the middle of the night. And worst of all, take your new shadow every day and never see the lump again.
He continued:
“Things that were off-limits during pregnancy are suddenly allowed again and feel guilty. Even thinking about a turkey sandwich or a glass of wine (things I enjoyed during pregnancy) feel like I’m leaving my baby behind. And things I loved during pregnancy; like berries (lots of berries!) it feels like cheating.”
Sarah ended her emotional post by saying that she “never prepared for this, and no mother should.” He then added:
“I know why no doctor or book has told me about the possibility of this torture & I don’t have a positive way to wrap up this post. It’s probably the second saddest thing I’ve ever done.”
We can’t imagine how much pain Sarah is going through right now. Our hearts really break for her and Dylan. You can read her entire message (below):
Sending love and light to Sarah during this difficult time.
[Image via Sarah Herron/Instagram]