Many credit Dakota Johnson with helping launch Ellen DeGeneres’ career.
But that doesn’t mean Dakota can’t self-sabotage either.
In recent years, Armie Hammer’s victims have come forward to accuse him of vile and sensationalism.
Because only he knows, Dakota decides to make a joke out of all human suffering.
Dakota Johnson gave a speech at the podium at Opening Night: A Taste of Sundance presented by IMDbPro.
During Thursday’s show, he was sure to be there to sing the praises of director Luca Guadagnino.
Luca directed Call Me By Your Name. Dakota made a joke about playing a non-human role in the film: a peach.
There is an unforgettable moment in the film when Timothee Chalamet’s character uses a peach to masturbate.
Usually people would think that this is impossible (or at least uncomfortable), but actors and directors test it in real life. Separateconsciousness.
“Unfortunately, I did not enter [Call Me By Your Name],” Dakota grinned. “Because I’ll be another woman Armie Hammer tries to eat.”
Actually, no, that’s not true, Dakota. But we’ll find out in a moment.
When Dakota voiced this “joke”, several people laughed awkwardly. Then, a long, awkward pause filled the audience.
Finally, people cheered – apparently, eager to break the tension and move on.
Guadagnino’s latest project is Bones and All, which happens to include…well, cannibalism. After fashion.
(At the risk of getting too technical, the “eaters” in the film are not normal humans, but rather cannibals or something similar)
Because of this, Dakota laughed: “Who knew cannibalism was so popular?”
Honestly, this is a bad joke for a few reasons.
At first, Armie Hammer’s “edgy” sexual fantasy was just that. Talk about extreme BDSM or impossible scenarios (including cannibalism) occurring between consenting partners. There is no evidence that he was a cannibal. Some of her messages are just that cringe and sensational.
Second, and more important, there is rape charges against Hammer. Her cringe text messages pale in comparison to the allegations of abuse, manipulation, and sexual assault. And makes the whole thing pretty un-funny.
We must be insufferable nerds for a moment and address Dakota’s line about peaches because … it does not make sense?
In the movie, Armie Hammer’s character doesn’t eat (what we’ll euphemistically call) “yum-filled” peaches.
Well, in the book, the character deliberately eats a peach in a very charged scene. Not in the movies. In fact, Slate bemoaned this change in the 2017 article. So Dakota doesn’t even have the right facts. Corny.