Your partner needs to know that you didn’t mean to hurt their feelings. So, this conversation can only end if you have convinced him that you will not hurt him on purpose again.
Apologizing to your partner and healing your relationship is not just about saying “I’m sorry”.
Here’s how to effectively start reconnecting after you hurt your partner:
- Admit your feelings
One of the first rules of getting right back into your partner’s good book is that you have to be willing and able to admit your feelings. Empathize with them, even if you feel that what they are saying is not true.
Instead of trying to downplay his emotions, let him know that you heard what he was saying and that his feelings are valid.
One of the hardest things to do after you’ve hurt your partner is to give them space. At this point, you might be tempted to follow him everywhere, send him endless texts, or randomly show up on his doorstep and demand his attention.
In some cases, you may need more results than this. Most of the time, what you need to do when you’re hurting someone is to give them space. Your partner may want to be alone and figure things out.
- Take full responsibility for your actions
Trying to play the blame for the actions of others screams irresponsibility, and you do not want your partner to get the wrong impression. Resist the urge to explain your actions.
At the same time, don’t try to blame them for your actions. Don’t say “I won’t do it if you just shut up.” Instead, take responsibility for all your actions.
Taking full responsibility can be challenging and ego-bruising, but doing so can immediately improve your relationship. Your partner needs to be reassured that he is with someone who can make mistakes.
A person’s body language can determine whether an apology will be accepted.
Therefore, apologizing should be accompanied by gestures and body language, which show that you are sorry for your actions.
Your partner may interpret your smirk as a sign that your apology is fake. Thank you for forgiveness is usually embraced with reluctance, a few words that are sincere in the heart, and shoulders are bowed.
“Make-up sex” has reportedly been a healing balm for many relationships going through hell. The challenge with early sex make-up is like covering a gaping wound with a band-aid. The fact that it is not visible does not mean that the wound is healed.
Having sex too fast can even be a form of procrastination. The problem remains, but you chose the easy way out. The damage starts festering and may explode in the future. At that point, coping can become impossible.